10 Self Care Tips

As a single mom taking care of both special needs kids and my disabled mom, it is extremely important to remember to take the time to take care of myself. I’ve always said, “You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.” It really took me a long time to figure this out.

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Thankfully I got it figured out before I had kids but I lost friends when I wouldn’t meet my own needs. I put so much time and energy helping my friends and making sure they were taken care of that I didn’t leave enough time for myself. I did not realize that I kept using up my fuel tank for others, but never once used some of that energy, to refill my tank. A car can only go so far if you don’t stop for gas. I would always end up snapping and not able to function.

But all that has changed. I eventually realized the importance of refueling and slowly found ways to add to that tank. Over the years, I have amassed a list of various ways to take care of myself and now I want to share it with you.

1.  Journaling

One thing that always brings me closer to empty, is when my mind is so full of stuff that I can’t focus or sleep. One thought is followed by another and another. It’s an endless train of ideas, thoughts, worries, and replays. The best way for me to clear my head when I’m dealing with this, is journaling. Writing out what ever thoughts are flying through my mind always allows my mind to rest afterwards. Writing also prevents you from forgetting any new, amazing ideas you come up with. I don’t know about you but I am super forgetful most of the time. If I don’t write it down then I don’t remember it. A simple notebook or even just some clean paper and a pencil is all you really need. Or if you prefer to use technology you can type it up as well. I’ve used both. I honestly think I prefer actually writing it out. There is just something about focusing on my hand looping all the letters that really help center and calm my mind. I also am able to add sketches to my journal.

2.  Exercise

Keeping your body is good physical condition is very important in maintaining your health and well-being. Even a short walk a few times a week helps keep your sanity. Exercising releases endorphins, which are the feel good hormones that your body makes. These endorphins will help energize and lift your mood. I will load my kids into our double stroller and hit the block or the mall depending on the weather. I discovered that if we walk the outside perimeter of my local mall, not going into any stores, it is about a one mile loop. I measured it once with an app that tracks my walks. I have yet to figure out a good path in my new neighborhood but I used to have a route I walked in my old one that was about 3 miles. This semester I plan to visit the campus gym a few times as well. I will hopefully have a few days a week with some free time while the kids are at daycare and school and I’m hoping to use that for a little self-care.

3.  Hot bath or shower

When stress starts adding up, a hot bath or shower can relieve that stress. Whether you like sinking down into a hot bubble bath or letting the steamy water pound on your back, it can be amazingly relaxing. When I get the time to actually enjoy a shower or even soak in the tub, I never regret it. I usually just stand in the shower and let the hot water pound on the sore muscles in my back. Even if I don’t have the time to soak or enjoy, I take a moment to let the hot water pour on my back to relax. Even just a couple minutes is better than nothing.

4.  Pamper yourself occasionally

One way to really take care of yourself is to pamper yourself. Getting your nails done… Having a makeover… Getting a massage… All are different ways to pamper yourself. Everyone enjoys a little pampering. This is an obvious method of self-care. It is spending time on yourself. I don’t get to do this often but I never regret it.

5.  Listen to music

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Everyone’s taste in music is different but most people enjoy listening to some kind of music. Music feeds the soul and refills your inner tank. We turn music on to give me energy when I need to complete some housework. Added bonus is when we just decide to have a random dance party in our living room. If I’m feeling sad, I turn on some old school Linkin Park or Evanescence and jam out my sorrow. There is just so many different types of music. You can find one to fit every mood and situation.

6.  Eat a balance diet

Everyone knows that you have to eat a healthy balanced diet in order to stay healthy. You have to stay healthy in order to take care of others. If you are not healthy, then you will not be up to doing much for anyone else. A healthy diet needs to consist of mostly a variety of vegetables and fruits with healthy whole grains and small portions of meat. Portion control is also key. Over eating can cause a lot of not fun discomfort.

7.  Stay hydrated

Water is key to life. Staying hydrated allows your body to function at its best. I am not particularly fond of plain water most of the time, though. I usually try flavoring some the night before by slicing fruits and veggies and soaking them overnight to infuse the water. My favorite combination is lemon cucumber. You can really use any fruit or veggies you want. You can even use frozen fruit. I also prefer filtered water, so I try to keep a pitcher to filter my water available.

8.  Read a good book

I, personally, love reading. It’s an escape from this reality into a fantasy one. You can travel the universe, jump through time, or visit places only found in dreams. Reading can help take your mind off of any troubles or stressors. It can also just be enjoyable to help you refill your tank. You don’t have to purchase every book you read. See if you have a good local library system. Ours here is amazing. We have six different branches in town each with hundreds and hundreds of books to choose from. We also have the ability to do an interlibrary loan to get books from other library systems that ours does not carry. There are also ebooks that you can read. You don’t have to spend any money. Amazon regularly has ebooks you can “purchase” for free. Many times it is a first in a series to try to hook you and encourage you to purchase the rest but you don’t have to. They do also have single books in there and they change every day.

9.  Get plenty of sleep at night

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/good-nights-sleep

Sleep is when your body regenerates from all the wear and tear of the day. Your body and mind can’t function without rest. Sleeping at night is important too. Your body creates a hormone, melatonin, at night to naturally help you sleep. Sunset and the low light level triggers melatonin production. You also don’t want to be watching any screen late at night. The blue light from the screen tricks your brain into thinking it is still daytime and doesn’t produce the melatonin needed to put you to sleep.

10.  Treat yourself to something decadent

Lastly, treating yourself to something that you really enjoy like your favorite dessert or treat. Even healthy diets need a splurge occasionally. Just whatever is your favorite. Currently I am really enjoying ice cream sandwiches and Swiss Cake Rolls. Don’t go overboard or you end up with the same issues if you don’t eat a healthy diet. 

Vision Boards

What’s a better way to start off the year than setting all your goals out in front of you for you to see and be reminded day after day? This is what a vision board does for you. There is just something about putting your goals out there into the universe that helps you focus on achieving them. You may not even think about it but it’s been put out there.

These were all our supplies. We didn't use any markers or crayons but had them just in case.

Several years ago, I made one and thought it was silly at the time. I did it in a therapy session when I was working on my depression. I put pictures of things I liked out of the magazines they had including an image of a renaissance style dress. At the time, I only dreamed of going to the renaissance fair or even just owning the gorgeous dresses of the time period. Now I have been to the Kentucky Renn Fair four separate times in the last 4 years. I skipped one year when we were in the thick of my daughter’s health concerns but went twice when my son was a baby. More proof of their power, I put images that made me think of motherhood when I was struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss. I’m obviously now a mother of two wonderful kiddos. I put the energy and desire out there and the universe helped provide me the opportunities to fulfill my dreams.

So focused on cutting the pictures apart. He did an amazing job with the scissors.

Even better is the opportunity to bond with family. Even kids benefit from making a vision board. Younger kids need a little guidance on what to put on their board but that just makes it a great time to talk with your children and figure out what they want to do with their lives. My son is only 3.5 years old but we sat down together and made a list of the things he is interested in. I gave some leading but he came up with the ideas. He even decided he wants to learn about cheetahs, tigers, giraffes, and zebras this year. I only had to ask if he wanted to learn about animals and which animals he wanted to learn about. He also added wanting to learn to read and learn about money and pennies to his list.

He worked so hard to make sure every piece was glued down just right. 

I then went and found pictures that represent this for him to choose from to prepare. He is only 3 so he is easily distracted. If I let him go through and cut stuff out of magazines like I or my mom did, he would end up with a beautiful picture but nothing goal oriented. He still helped me pick out which images he wanted when we did a Google search. He even helped me cut them out and was so excited to show off his amazing scissor skills. We also sat down together and cut out a few images from one of his old high lights magazines. He pointed to the pictures and told me why he wanted that image and how it related to his goals.

The boy's vision board

I focused on eating healthier, being more active, growing my own food, and decluttering and simplifying my life and home. I also added the suitcase for my desire to do a little bit of traveling this year. In the center is my desire to maintain my 4.0 GPA. I honestly will be happy with a 3.75 but since this is about my dreams, I might as well shoot for the stars. Family is always and important focus of my life and I’m hoping to start a journey towards finding love.

My vision board

My mom is still working on hers. She has been sick this week so she is only working for 5-10 minutes at a time before going back to bed. I will add her in once she is finished.

Overall it was a great activity to work on together as a family. It will be interesting to see how the next year progresses as each of us work towards our goals.

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Vision Board Instructions

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Materials-

-Some old magazines and/or images printed out that you like

-A piece of poster board or cardstock per person

-Scissors

-Glue stick

-Markers and/or crayons, optional

-Your dreams and goals

Instructions –

1. Gather all your old magazines and cut any images and words that call out to you and embody your dreams and goals. Cut out anything and everything that appeals to you for now. You may not use all of it but you will decide that later.

2. Lay out your cut outs on your piece of cardstock or poster board so that you fit everything you want in a visually pleasing way. I like laying it out before gluing it all down so that I can tweak the layout easily. This is where you decide exactly what you want to go on your board. As I said above, you may not use everything you cut out. If you cut 3 images of a guitar, you may only want to put one on your board.

3. Glue everything in place on your board. Glue sticks make this easier but you can use regular liquid white glue. It will just take longer to dry and might wrinkle your magazine cut outs. Make sure to let it sit flat to dry completely. We found a place on our shelves for each of ours to sit overnight. You can also write or draw anything you couldn't find in magazines or print-outs. We didn't do any of this but it is definitely an option.

4. You’re done! We are going to hang ours in our rooms where we can see them daily. I will put my son’s on his wall at his level. You can toss it in the back of your closet if you want. It really is all up to you. The most important thing is making it to get your desires out there for the universe.

That’s it. Not a lot to it but it’s a powerful tool. And definitely a great way to start the New Year off. 

Enjoy!